If you were to rank the key influences in your life that have shaped the kind of person you are, the people and thoughts you choose to allow into your life would have to be near the top.
In those early days, my mentor, Mr.
Earl Shoaff offered me a very significant caution, which I’ll share with you. “Never underestimate the power of influence,” he urged. The effect of individuals around us is undeniably powerful. Because impacts usually grow over a long period of time, we often aren’t aware we’re being severely influenced.
Because it is so subtle, peer pressure is a particularly powerful force. If you hang out with folks who spend all of their money, there’s a good chance you’ll do the same. If you’re among people who don’t read, there’s a good chance you won’t either.
People can keep nudging us off course little by little until we’re left wondering, “How did I get here?” If we truly want our lives to come out the way we want them to, we must carefully examine those subtle influences.
Let me give you three vital questions to ask yourself in relation to this crucial subject. They could be able to assist you in better analysing your current relationships.
1) Who Am I while I’m Around?
Make a mental list of the persons with whom you frequently interact. You must assess everyone who has the ability to affect you in any way.
2) What Are the Effects Of These Linkages On Me?
That is a significant question to pose.
What are they up to with me?
What are they trying to get me to read?
What have they done to me?
What have they managed to get me to listen to?
How did they manage to get me to talk?
What are they trying to get me to believe?
What exactly are they trying to get me to say?
What have they done to make me feel?
You must conduct a thorough investigation into how others influence you, both adversely and positively.
3) Is That All Right?
Perhaps everyone you’ve come into contact with has had a positive, energising effect on you. Then then, there could be a few rotten apples in the lot. All I’m asking is that you look at it closely and objectively.
When it comes to the power of influence, anything is worth a second look.
Both will get you someplace, but only one will get you in the right direction.
It’s all too simple to brush aside the things that have an impact on our life. “I live here, but I don’t think it counts,” one man adds. I’m in their company, but I don’t think it bothers me.” That is something I would reconsider.
Keep in mind that everything matters. Sure, some things are more important than others, but everything adds up. You must monitor your associations to determine whether they are tilting the scales in your favour or against you. The best policy is never to be ignorant.
The Best Policy Is to Find Out.
It’s all too easy to let influence mould our lives, associations dictate our path, pressures overwhelm us, and tides carry us away. The big question is: Are we allowing ourselves to grow into the people we want to be?
Here are three strategies for dealing with any associations or relationships that are holding you back.
1) Keep the Association To a Minimum.
Spend a significant amount of time with important influences and a moderate amount of time with minor influencers. It’s all too easy to do the exact opposite, so don’t fall for it. Take a look at your values and priorities. We have such a limited amount of time. Isn’t it more sensible to put it to good use?
2) Separate Yourself From The Situation.
This is not an easy decision to make, nor should it be taken lightly, but it may be necessary for some instances. You may simply have to make the difficult decision to no longer be influenced by some harmful influences. It could be a decision that helps you maintain the quality of your life.
3) Make New Connections.
This is the one I recommend you concentrate on the most. Look for other successful people with whom you may spend more time. Invite them to lunch (and pay for it) and inquire about how they have accomplished so much or what makes them successful.
It could be someone you want to learn from about having a better marriage, being a better parent, having better health, or having a stronger spiritual life; it could be someone you want to learn from about having a better marriage, being a better parent, having better health, or having a stronger spiritual life.
It’s called purposeful association: getting in touch with the proper individuals by broadening your circle of influence.
Here are some concluding ideas about influence and associations:
When you achieve, you will attract and produce more success in your environment. Success fosters success, so if you achieve success, even if it’s just a notch higher than where you are now, you’ll notice that the people you associate with will begin to achieve success as well (increasing the level of your own associations!).
One of the exciting outcomes of success is this.
Form bonds with people who are further along in their personal and professional development than you are. There are numerous successful people in your immediate vicinity who can assist you in a variety of ways. And if they’re successful, they’re in high demand.
So, while they are unlikely to start contact with you, they will most likely be eager to meet with you or invest in you if you contact them first. Some won’t, but that’s fine; just keep looking until you find someone who will. Meet with them and buy them a meal or a cup of coffee. Allow your friendship with them to benefit you. Take notes from them.
4) Keep an Eye On Them.
Allow their knowledge to lead you. But keep in mind that you must chase them, not the other way around.
Have someone in your life that you can trust to tell you the truth. People who will tell us the truth are desperately needed. Even if it is negative and delivered with a kind heart, the truth will lift us up and propel us onward.
We don’t want to be surrounded by folks who just tell us the good news or what we want to hear. In order to progress in our personal and professional life, we must see the big picture and address both our strengths and limitations. We need a decent mix of people in our lives who can help us see both sides of a problem.
5) Consider What Will Have an Impact On You.
I use the word carefully because many individuals are unconcerned about who or what they allow to affect them. Despite this, it is one of the most significant influences on our lives. When it comes to who or what we allow into our lives, and thus how we form and mould our lives, we must be extremely cautious.
Seek individuals and knowledge that will encourage you and provide you with the next step you need to continue on your journey.
Remember that your affiliations should propel you ahead, not hold you back.