It doesn’t have to be difficult to alter your attitude on life. It can begin with a simple habit that guides you away from stress and toward optimism. Mel Robbins has an odd habit for you.
Mel taught us how to deal with crises by counting backward from five in her best-selling self-published second book The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage. She proposes a new tool: high-fiving our own reflections in her third book, The High 5 Habit.
Take Control of Your Life with One Simple Habit.
Mel pulled herself out of bed one particularly rough morning, and when she saw herself in the mirror, she spontaneously gave herself a high-five.
“For God’s sake, pull it together and just get out there and deal with it,” she says. “It’s I’ve gotten energy.”
Mel explains to Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall why a high-five is such a strong act of self-love, why it’s OK if it feels strange at first, and why we shouldn’t save self-care for the moment we eventually win our goals in this episode of SUCCESS Stories.
Make an effort to show up for yourself in the same way you do for others.
When a friend is going through a difficult moment, we instinctively give them a hug, tell them they have the abilities and tenacity to get through it and provide them support.
When we’re worried about the future and anxious about the present, finding the light at the end of the tunnel is much more difficult. Instead, we tend to blame ourselves, which just adds to our sense of helplessness in an already difficult situation.
Mel’s High 5 Habit begins with self-examination in the mirror. It’s simpler to think of oneself as a separate person—someone you’d help through a difficult situation—when you can see your own mirror.
Offer Yourself An Elevated Once You’re At The Front Of The Mirror.
This is a gesture you’ve undoubtedly done hundreds of times before. A high-five signifies jubilation, reassurance, teamwork, and determination in your subconscious mind.
As a result, when you high-five your mirror, your brain immediately gives you the same delight you receive when you do it with someone else. It means you’re congratulating the person you’re high-fiving, which in this case is yourself.
We know how to lend a hand to others and join together in times of adversity and triumph. A high-five with your mirror reminds you that you are deserving of the same love and compassion that you freely give to others.
Accepting a High-Five From Yourself Can Seem Odd.
Mel recognizes that this is a fresh strategy. She busted out laughing the first time she gave her reflection a high-five because it seemed so cheesy.
People usually have one of two emotions when high-fiving their reflections for the first time, according to her.
The other is in tears. People notice how absent this practice has been in their lives up to that point when they abruptly show self-compassion after years of self-criticism.
Having To Look In The Mirror Can Be a Frightening Experience.
Not because of the aspects of your reflection that you dislike, but because it forces you to consider all of your life experiences. This encompasses both terrible events in your life and stupid decisions you’ve made that you haven’t forgiven yourself for.
That’s why giving oneself a high-five is such a great way to mend your connection with yourself.
It’s playful, but it also conveys a serious message: We’re on the same team, and I’ll be there for both the challenges and the triumphs.
Mel recommends doing the High 5 Challenge for five days, to begin with, so you can get used to the strangeness and start to experience the consequences.
You Don’t Have To Work For The Right To Take Care Of Yourself.
When it comes to setting objectives, many people make the error of assuming that this is how we acquire self-respect and compassion. However, the time when you achieve your goal is not the time when you most need to believe in yourself.
It’s especially important to remind yourself that you believe in your own ability over the long and challenging route to those goals. You’ll run out of steam if you connect your right to self-care and self-love to completing your goals.
You can give yourself that boost of self-belief every day by following the High 5 Habit, even when you’re the furthest away from your goals and most in need of assistance.
Believe In Yourself And your Ability To Get Through This.
There are times in everyone’s lives when they can’t see a way out of a difficult circumstance. Rather than allowing that sensation to pull you down, try to recognize that it is preparing you for an opportunity that will present itself if you keep going.
If you choose to see the most difficult circumstances in your life as a lesson instead of something that would trap you forever, Mel refers to this as anchoring onto optimism.
That isn’t to imply that you shouldn’t be sad or furious. It’s critical to acknowledge and respect those feelings. But don’t let them become your life’s crushing story. Continue to go on, offer yourself love and support, and discover what you were destined to learn from this experience.