“No! I don’t have a smidgeon of low self-esteem!”
“I should just quiet up during meetings because my coworkers have more experience.” What could I possibly say that they don’t already know?” says the speaker.“My partner was born into wealth and attended an Ivy League university. Of course, he’s incredible, and I’m fortunate to have him! What does it matter if he doesn’t always pay attention to what I say?
At the very least, we’re together…”
“My sister’s career is fantastic! I’m not sure I could have done what she did. She’s simply smarter than I am. It’s no surprise that she’s her father’s favorite. I’d never been able to compete with her.”
Have you ever told yourself these things?
Have you ever been told that you’re a pushover? Is that a doormat? Are you clingy and needy?
People with low self-esteem fight an internal battle called “Why Do I Hate Myself?”
You are not deserving of praise. You shouldn’t say what you’re thinking because your thoughts aren’t very excellent.
Should you, or should you not?
You know deep down in your heart that you’re worth so much more. You, on the other hand, are always rejecting it.
Is there anything you can do about your automatic response to praise and attention?
Can you finally break free from the invisible shackles of low self-esteem and speak your mind?
Are there any alternatives to cheesy positive reinforcements for improving low self-esteem?
To begin, recognize the indicators and accept that you are experiencing these sensations.
1. Trying to Impress Others
Trying to Impress Others People who don’t feel good about themselves may go above and beyond to ensure that others are comfortable and happy in order to get external affirmation. This frequently entails putting others’ needs ahead of their own, saying yes to things they don’t want to do, and feeling terrible for saying no.
2. Bleak Prognosis
People with low self-worth also believe there is a slim probability that the future will be better. People with low self-esteem may find it difficult to engage in actions that would result in good improvements in their lives because of their sentiments of hopelessness.
Self-sabotage is another popular approach to dealing with negative emotions. People with poor self-esteem can find something else to blame for what they perceive to be their own deficiencies by creating impediments to success.
3. You’re a Hawk When It Comes To Folk’s Words And Deeds Directed On You.
Everyone wants to be accepted and liked. What causes the majority of people to have low self-esteem? In a nutshell, there’s a lot of uncertainty. You frequently question the sentiments, words, and behaviors of others toward you.
You have a negative self-perception that you are unworthy and unlovable.
And you go out of your way to watch what’s going on around you. You pay attention to their tone of speech, word choice, and demeanor, keeping track of how they treat you mentally.
Of course, your judgments almost always validate your darkest fears. But, if it’s all in your head, how can you be so certain of your conclusions?
If you don’t talk to the people you’re watching, you won’t learn how to overcome low self-esteem. “What do you think of me?” ask them. “What do you think of (your actions/appearance/)?” or something more specific.
4. You’re On The Alert… To An Excessive Degree, You Become Overly Defensive Of All That.
You answer a query from a coworker regarding the project you’re working on. You clam up when you hear him say “no” or “but.” In the bathroom stall, you sob and wail about your obnoxious coworkers. Why are they focusing their attention on you?
When your friends criticize the guy you’re going out with, you get into an argument with them. Then you cry before going to bed. You start to doubt your own and your friends’ devotion. Why aren’t they able to comprehend what you’re saying?
Your friends and coworkers are genuinely worried about you. However, you are blind to this because you believe that everyone is trying to get you.
Try counting to three before responding the next time someone criticizes or questions your choices. Before responding, think about the other person’s perspective. They’re not out to harm your job or sabotage your happiness, repeat to yourself.
5. You Take Pleasure In Belittling People.
This is the negative side of poor self-esteem. You make fun of those weaker than you to make yourself feel better since you don’t feel good about yourself.
You hang out with the novices since you don’t feel confident enough to work alongside tenured personnel at work. You also bully them. You dismiss them because of their lack of work skills or experience.
You’re entrusting them with your insecurities.
Consider what you get from bullying someone who is clearly lower in the food chain than you. You will receive nothing! So, what’s the big deal?
Instead, assist them. It will make you feel better about yourself, and they will regard you as a role model. That will increase your self-esteem tenfold over any insult you can hurl at them.
Finally, a Word Of Warning Regarding Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcements, such as repeating “I am a lovable person,” were found to make people with poor self-esteem feel even worse.
When someone is already down on themselves, showering them with attention and praise won’t help them feel better. Once people see through the superficial flattery, it will just make them feel worse. Instead, confront your feelings. Although it may seem impossible, the small steps outlined here will educate you on how to deal with low self-esteem.
Instead of all the bad assumptions you’ve made in your head, it’ll give you a better sense of reality—what people really think of you. There will be no more constant comparisons. There will be no more white lies to keep tensions at bay. There will be no more inane apologies for mistakes you didn’t make.
6. You Can Finally Have Faith In Yourself.
You act as though everything is fine in case of a conflicWhite falsehoods abound in your everyday conversations. There are plenty of them. When your friend asks what you think of her dress, you tell her that it looks fantastic on her despite the fact that it doesn’t fit her properly. Even if you’re sick of Thai food, your boyfriend asks whether it’s acceptable to get Thai food for supper, and you answer yes. You say anything will make your pals pleased because you are afraid of upsetting them. Your dread of confrontation, along with your desperate need for acceptance, keeps your actual self hidden. If you’re afraid of speaking the truth, start small and say things in a non-confrontational manner, such as “I don’t think that clothing suits you, but maybe this will
By beginning your truth with the phrase “I believe” and following it with the phrase “but maybe will,” you highlight that what you’re saying is just an opinion, not a personal assault. Including a potential alternative also helps to lessen the blow.
In reality, your pals are unlikely to pay attention to what you say. It’s just a simple statement of opinion to them, not a vicious attack deserving of a battle. Try it for yourself and see what you think.
7. You Use The Word “Sorry” Far Too Frequently.
How can you tell if someone isn’t confident in their own skin? They say “sorry” far too often, even when it isn’t their fault.
Apologizing is necessary, but you should only do so after you’ve made a mistake. And by mistakes, I don’t mean when someone knocks into you and you sneeze, or when you don’t have a lighter or pen when someone asks for one, or when you send your soup back to the restaurant.
8. You Analyze Yourself to All, Even When There Isn’t Anything To Compare
While there’s nothing wrong with comparing yourself to others, doing so excessively and unfairly will just scar your already fragile ego.
Avoid comparing your first chapter to someone else’s chapter 20. Even if you’re the same age or come from the same family, you don’t know everything there is to know about them. There are a lot of unknown variables at play here, so comparing oneself to others is pointless.
Redirect your focus to your own journey the next time you find yourself comparing. Consider the following:
“Can you tell me where I am now?”
“Why am I comparing myself to this person?” you might wonder.
“Do my comparisons have a solid foundation?”
9. You Frequently Refer To The Results Of Your Work As “Blessings” or “Best Of luck”
When someone compliments your work, how do you react?
“I was just lucky,” says the narrator.
“It’s God’s blessing!” exclaims the narrator.
“All of the hard work was done by my team.”
God may have blessed you and your team may have aided you, but you also made a contribution. You are deserving of praise.
Compliments are difficult for people who have poor self-esteem.
There are two reasons for this.
- Because you have a low opinion of yourself, you believe that everything you might do that is worthy of recognition was only possible because of the efforts of others.
- You exaggerate your failures to the point where they’ve become part of your identity. “I can’t finish what I start,” “I can’t lose weight no matter how hard I try,” “I’m going to flunk this exam again!” you think to yourself.
- It’s difficult and disheartening to live in a way.
Accept compliments the next time they come your way. Don’t even consider whether you deserve it—just don’t go there. Instead, say “Thank you” right away.
And if you fail, consider it a one-time setback, similar to a failed battle in a year-long conflict. Whatever that failure was, it was insignificant and had no bearing on your identity.