Making yourself the best version of yourself sounds like a noble aim, but how do you go about achieving it?
Kristen Glosserman ended her last marriage because it was no longer satisfying her. She left her executive job to pursue a career as a life coach. She currently advises CEOs and other professionals on how to enjoy their work and life more by using positive behaviors.
In Kristen’s book If It’s Not Right, Go Left: Practical and Inspirational Lessons to Move You in a Positive Direction, you can learn more about her approach. You can also go to her and her husband’s restaurant, Hill Country Barbecue Market, if you live in New York.
“This self within all of us that we want to be,” Kristen says of the finest version of oneself. It’s the sum total of all of our objectives and aims. It’s the balance of work, home, and life, according to my husband. When we have a sense of illumination and purpose, we are our most authentic selves.”
Kristen tells Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall why the path to happiness is built on excellent decisions, how to identify if a problem is worth your attention, and why remaining in your lane keeps you on track to happiness in this episode of SUCCESS Stories.
1) Concentrate Your Efforts.
Looking too closely at what other people are accomplishing can make you doubt your own accomplishments and objectives.
Reading about someone else’s promotion on LinkedIn or reading through photographs of their new home on Instagram is a quick way to fall into the “grass is always greener” comparison trap, which leaves you feeling envious.
That’s why Kristen advises people to “keep in their lane.”
That means focusing on what you desire and what you’ve accomplished rather than being sidetracked by what other people are doing.
That isn’t the same as stating you should keep your options open.
Your lane can be as wide as you want it to be. Kristen, for example, loves cooking and includes recipes in her book, despite the fact that she usually leaves the restaurant’s management to her husband and staff.
“Would a chef be able to instruct me to stay in my lane?” “Food is in my lane,” she explains.
Apply the same amount of concentration to your long-term objectives. Put together a clear image of what you want from life instead of making decisions based on what you think you should be doing.
“How do you see yourself, your family, your business, and your life in the future?” Kristen explains.
Once you have a clear image of the big picture, you can begin taking steps toward it, knowing that you are working toward a goal that you value rather than one that others have set for you.
2) Take a Strategic Approach To Difficulties.
You’re caught in traffic, and time is ticking away till your meeting. The exercise class that would be ideal for your schedule is already full. The milk you just bought at the store spilled all over your car, soaking everything.
All of these are aggravating circumstances over which we have no control. However, they only become issues if we decide to label them as such.
When you’re getting irritated over anything that’s happened, take a step back and consider whether it warrants the importance you’re giving it. Spilled milk does not warrant the same level of attention and emotion as a medical emergency, for example. The latter is an issue that must be addressed.
The former is something you can handle without it ruining your day.
It’s easy to see the difference between an objective problem and something that doesn’t have to reach that level in that example. But life isn’t always so straightforward.
If you’re struggling with a scenario you’re not sure how to manage and it’s taking up a lot of your mental space, strip it down to its most basic elements. You might discover that it’s not as complicated as you thought: more of a milk-spilling annoyance than a full-fledged problem. Alternatively, you might gain a better grasp of the problem and how to solve it.
3) Muscle Up Your Mind.
Finding happiness and becoming your greatest self are not one-time events. You must develop a habit over time that will lead to you feeling content in all facets of your life.
Treat it like a muscle or a skill: Just as you wouldn’t train for a marathon by running for five minutes or cooking one omelet, you must commit to daily self-improvement activities.
Making judgments that take you in the right way is a big part of that discipline. Those choices will vary from time to time.
Let’s imagine you attend a networking event in your business and meet a lot of fantastic people. You’ve been invited to a post-show party. If you go, you may have the opportunity to meet more people and network. You’ll feel more rejuvenated for all the tasks you have to perform tomorrow if you don’t go.
Neither decision is necessarily correct or incorrect. It depends on the circumstances—for example, whether you have a busy morning planned—and what will be best for you in the long run.
However, don’t mistake a lack of immediate gratification for a long and arduous process.
The thing about happiness—and self-improvement—is that the path to it is just as important as the destination.
Kristen explains, “Happiness isn’t a single moment.” “It’s all about the journey and the process…. I got here after many years of developing a process and discipline around a positive direction. “I am the happy, fulfilled, and enthusiastic person I am now because of the numerous positive decisions I have made.”